2014 was such a SPECTACULAR year that I thought the energy would keep going into 2015…let’s just say, while 2015 was not the year I envisioned it to be, it definitely took me for a ride.
A terrifying, roller-coaster ride.
I should have known something was up. Last New Year’s Eve I welcomed the new year alone and pretty somber. I was in San Diego; one of my favorite aunt’s passed on December 23rd of that year (in NYC) and I was still feeling the loss of another aunt who had passed earlier, in August. I was in a state of peace and calm, but also a little anxious of what was to come.
2014 started my business and also introduced my 2nd leap of faith, where I quit a cushy job to pursue my dream full-time. I had a head full of knowledge and lessons learned, and a heart full of passion to succeed; tools forged in 2014, to help with the battle to come this year.
2015 stopped my train of happiness, and made a stop in the pit of despair I left in 2012. My life took a 180 degree turn and put me through the ringer. I cried, I feared, I worried, I had anxiety. I lost. But I also gained. I gained so much strength. I pulled from reserves I didn’t even know I had, in order to keep me going. My creativity and motivation took time off when I needed them to work the hardest, and in turn I reached new skill levels for both. It was just like a video game. I reached a whole new level in my life and business.
Another reason I know my life took a 180 degree turn was because I ended up going back to New York; the home I left back in 2012 to pursue my dreams. Going back for me was dreadful. I felt like instead of moving forward in life, I went backwards. This wasn’t just a simple visit, it was a complete detour. Every month I thought, I’m leaving soon. While I had no clear indication of when I would leave, ‘soon‘ became the undefined date I held on to. I didn’t leave because it didn’t feel right to do so. Every time I wanted to, there were clear signs showing me that the timing wasn’t right. I can’t really explain it but as much as I wanted to leave, I knew deep inside it wasn’t the time. And eight months later I’m still here.
So I held on. I often felt like the captain of a sinking ship, in the middle of the storm of the century; hanging on with every fiber of my being.
I was being tested.
I had to run through the gauntlet.
And you know what? I did it. I DID IT.
Last week I had a reading with an amazing medium (highly recommended) who gave me great insight into my life. And do you know what she told me? My angels were showing her an image of me wearing a construction hat. It made perfect sense! I have been doing the work. I have been digging deep and changing so many things around. 2015 has been my “under construction” year because it gave me the opportunity to really address and heal what was needed in my life.
2015 also gave me the opportunity to revisit lessons I had not learned. Or if I learned these lessons already, a chance to see them from a different perspective. The learning never stops. We will keep repeating situations and circumstances in our lives, in order to learn the lessons needed to move on.
And I DID IT.
2015 showed me that this life I’ve created is truly for me. I’ve been blessed with the knowing that everything I’ve done has been right. That I have succeeded. I know it because I held on tight when things were at their worst. Even when I was THIS CLOSE to quitting, I didn’t. I couldn’t. I was ALL IN. I am ALL IN.
I DID IT!
Thank you 2015 for making me so uncomfortable that I had no choice but to change.
Thank you 2015 for broadening my horizons and giving me new perspectives.
Thank you 2015 for helpng me muster the strength and power I didn’t even know I had.
Thank you 2015 for showing me what it means to have true passion and unyielding love for something.
Thank you 2015 for helping me give myself permission to receive. For giving me clarity on my purest desires.
Thank you 2015 for giving me a glimpse of the joy to come.
Thank you 2015, WE DID IT!